This bustling metropolis has lots of sun, world-class beaches, and some of the most interesting scenery in the world. Kick back in a 2-star hotel, put on your head phones, sip on a Mai Tai, and watch the locals go about their daily business as you soak up the ambience of a travel destination that's sure to thrill. Be sure to take out several insurance policies before you leave home.
Jakarta, Indonesia
For those of you unfortunate enough not to live near a large river or an ocean, consider Indonesia. No-one speaks English and the tap water will land you in an emergency room, but the hotels are sturdy enough to withstand the force of a large body of water slamming against their walls. Despite the sweltering humidity, the beaches are often full, but occassionally have a tendency to empty very quickly, quite suddenly, leaving you with your very own spot, anywhere you like. The Indonesians are a very active people who enjoy running, so pack a pair of your favorite Nike running shoes, and a crate of bottled water. Be sure to visit your doctor for your Malaria shots before you leave, take a few power swimming refresher classes, and make sure your Last Will & Testament is up to date.
Addis Ababa, Ethiopia
For those intrepid travelers looking to shed those few extra winter pounds, consider Addis Ababa. With 2,638,500 people crammed in the country's capital, you're bound to run into a few locals. They're very friendly people ... and quite persistent. Take a leisurely stroll through one of the local markets and maybe pick up a $2 trinket or two. You'll be surprised at just how far a few dollars will go in Africa. So don your safari suit and your camo safari hat, because nothing screams, "I'm an American tourist", quite like looking like one. Be sure to pack several granola bars; they may be the only things you eat in Addis Ababa.
Tbilisi, Georgia
American citizens are forbidden from traveling the overland passing that spans between Russia and Georgia, but if you can get your hands on a forged foreign passport, this shouldn't be a problem. Georgia's rich history includes a bloody civil war which took place in the 80s and 90s and the Georgians are a passionate people - a group in northwest Georgia still refuses to recognize the country’s government. So despite the great deal of violence in the area, thrill seekers might want to consider visiting this region first. For wine lovers, Georgia might just be the ideal destination. With over 200 locally-grown wines, you could dim your hearing so as not to let the cries from people being beaten ruin your otherwise idyllic retreat.
Bujumbura, Burundi
Burundi is an exciting place to visit. This tiny land-locked African country is one of the ten poorest countries in the world and has the lowest per capita GDP of any nation in the world. This means your dollar will go far here. Burundi has been dealing with an ongoing civil war since 1993, with fighting between government forces and rebel factions being a common occurrence. So be sure to bring your camera for some pretty unique vacation snap shots to share with your friends when and if you return home. Groups of criminals regularly engage in car-jackings and muggings and mortar attacks are a regular part of life in the country, despite a cease-fire agreement among six of the rebel groups. So if you're looking to add a little excitement and spice to your summer vacation, Bujumbura might just be the place for you.
Darfur/Khartoum, Sudan
Sudan, a hot hell hole in Northeast Africa, is simply brimming with a variety of exotic diseases. So if you should get ill while traveling through this paradise, you will have a choice of any of the three hospitals for the country's six million citizens. Some of the diseases found in Sudan are so rare that they are not found anywhere else in the world. Others are more common, yet equally as deadly. Ebola and Malaria are common in Sudan so be sure to have your shots before you leave home. Equally exciting is the Guinea Worm that grow inside your body and then digs its way back out when it becomes an adult. Looking for a little excitement? Travel west to the Darfur region. There has been a little unrest there lately, but the photo opportunities are truly out of this world.
If you're a lover of coffee (or cocaine), Columbia might be the ideal vacation destination for you. And thrill seekers and statiticians alike might like Columbia. This idyllic retreat has one of the highest violent crime rates in the world and reports 2,300 kidnappings of tourists each year. Drug cartel assassinations are a regular occurrence. If the pace of New York City is too much for you, consider this: on the average day, the country sees 8 highway robberies, 2 bank robberies, 87 murders, and 204 muggings or assaults. This vacation will be non-stop action from the day your plane is shot down until the day the U.N. tries to airlift you out. But at least you'd have been able to try a genuine Columbian blend, not that crap they serve at Starbucks.
If you've always wanted to witness firsthand a bloody coup, make Afghanistan your #1 choice for a summer vacation spot. According to the State Department, the number of vehicular bombings continue to grow and several areas of the country are actually banned for many members of the U.S. Embassy. This frees up much of the country for you to travel to unchartered spots without hordes of tourists ruining your photos. Be sure to pack your hiking boots though. Those mountains can be quite treacherous and you may even run into a news celebrity when you camp overnight in one of the many mountain caves.
Want non-stop action? This popular destination spot is not for the faint of heart. And if you're an American tourist, take note. The rest of the world doesn't like you, especially in Iraq. So given the fact that U.S. citizens are particularly despised in the region, it is an even more dangerous place for Americans to visit. But don't let that deter you. Every day, civilians are killed from suicide bombings, so beware of locals who may seem over-friendly and come up to you and try hug you. Other than these minor setbacks, a front seat visit to Baghdad would allow you to experience change as it is happening. Just don't walk past parked cars.
So there you have it. Three exotic, off-the-beaten-track destinations to consider for your summer vacation this year. Dust off your passport, go for your shots, and renew your health insurance. The world is waiting. Bon Voyage!
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