... I learn about the things people love

While heading home from the dark shift at work the other night, I walked post this LOST sign which was nailed to a street pole.As you can see, many nails have been smacked into the pole, so I'm guessing people tend to lose a lot of things.


But what grabbed my attention were the items listed on this person's LOST poster:


"Bread knife"


"3 Rivet handle black"


Sentimental value? Seriously?? What sentimental value can a bread knife have? Or perhaps I shouldn't ask.


Bless. I hope they find their lost items.

... I signed the lease, the place is mine

ALL mine! Yes, my very own home. A lovely little place with carpets, windows, doors, and a bathtub so small I'll need to fold myself in half just to fit into it.

But it's mine.

This shall be my new chateau, my digs, my crib, my huis.

And I shall be moving into the palatial space this coming weekend.



12 boxes? Check.

My bed? Check.

My cat? Check.

And it shall be but a stone's throw away from the new work place, in a nice little tree-lined neighborhood of Pittsburgh, so I am as happy as a clam. Odd saying that, "happy as a clam". How do we know clams are in fact happy? Did one of them squeal and tell a human?

Anyway, soon it shall be time to head out to buy curtains and furniture and a TV.

It's like a new beginning. And new beginnings are always good.

... the world descends on Pittsburgh

As if poor Pittsburgh doesn't have enough of a negative image around the U.S. and the rest of the world. Now folks sitting back in their huts in New Guinea will be watching as protestors at this year's G-20 Economic Summit raise hell.

News reports say that many downtown businesses will be closed on Thursday and Friday in anticipation of the protests. Hell, even Starbucks has boarded up many of their local stores. So no caffeinated libations for me and the rest of the addicts for a few days.

While I'm a firm believer in Freedom of Speech, it's sad that this Summit is going to be overshadowed with negative publicity about protestors and riot police. Seriously, how does a policeman protect himself from a flying piece of metal? That would piss me off.


But hopefully, the leaders of the world's 20 most industrialized nations - I swell with pride to see the flag of my little African home country in the line-up, there in the middle somewhere - will be able to put on their thinking caps, kick a few butts, and make some changes.

And hopefully Pittsburgh will somehow be able to show the rest of the folks in Howlong, Australia; Buttermilk, Kansas; and Wormwood Scrubs, UK that Pittsburgh has since shed its 60s image of a dirty, sooty, steel town and is now actually quite pretty. And green. And clean!


Hey hey, all eyes on us, please.

... my uncle passed away last night

Just out of the random blue, I got a text from sister down in deepest, darkest Africa a couple days ago. And yes, they have cell phones in Africa.

In this text, she told me that one of my uncles - who doubles as my Godfather - was in the hospital, that he was having complete organ shut down and was in a coma. The doctors gave him him between two and seventy two hours.

Like good siblings, my father and his sister were at my uncle's bedside the whole time.

Then last night, I received THE text.

"Uncle Den just passed away."

There's a certain horrible, saddening finality to death.

Even though Uncle Den and myself were never really ever very close, it's quite a jolt to find out that a family member is sick, and two days later they're gone.

I remember Uncle Den to be a quiet, intelligent man who had one hellava golf swing - when he didn't have the occasional bout of gout. He never married (some quiet speculation about that one, although it was never spoken about) and worked for himself as an accountant.

It had been years since I last saw him. But I guess I need to start getting used to the idea of family members leaving this world for the next. None of us are as young as we used to be, and the circle of life must keep turning. But it really puts things in perspective.

... I discovered that my work environment looked like this.

It looks like my grandmother's living room, without the doilies and those porcelain dolls with swirling skirts.

I received a call on my celery phone on Tuesday from the temp agency I signed up with. The short chat went something like this:

"Hey, so those interviews you went on, they liked you and want to know if you'd be interested in temping with them."

"Sure."

"Great, can you start tomorrow?"

Now this temp job is a simple one. I answer the phone (and people here always seem to get a kick out of my accent), I do the filing, I fill out the mail log when the mail comes in, and I log out the mail when it's sent out. I take messages for people when the people they want to speak to don't want to speak to them.

I realized that over the years I have learned computer skills, I have done my own filing, I have customer service experience, so I figured, "Why the heck not?!" The money isn't really amazing but it pays the bills. And it's a temp position - they feel I might die of boredom there.

Mmmmm, not so much from the boredom mate. That picture on the wall might kill me, but not the boredom. I keep myself busy.

But it's sooooooooo quiet in this office. You can hear a pin drop. When the front desk phone rings, you can hear it ring through the office. I work with six women. And an old man. And no one says a word. Very, very different to working in an advertising saltmine, trust me.

... people do the darnedest things

I remember way back when I was still in high school. Unlike in my father's day, we had pens and note pads and things.

I remember getting caned (yes, with a bamboo stick, straight on my buttock cheeks) on my second day of high school for not doing Physics homework.

I was by no means a genius in high school. Sometimes I felt lazy. And when I felt lazy, I wouldn't do anything. I quickly learned that there were repercussions. Like getting smacked on the ass with a stick by a man who had a chip on his shoulder.

Sometimes I would study for tests. And other times, if it was something that would have required an incredible amount of studying - like say European history in the 14th century - I would just try wing it and hope for the best. Some terms I'd have great grades. Others, not so much.

So imagine my surprise when I found the following news item online. Silly boy. Just plain silly:

"Ala. boy fakes kidnapping to hide bad grades

HUNTSVILLE, Ala. -An 11-year-old boy gets high marks in storytelling after staging a hoax to cover up his bad grades.

Police said the boy faked his kidnapping Friday to avoid bringing home a bad report card, saying that a man with a pistol snatched him after he left Ed White Middle School. The boy said the man forced him into a "beat-up car" and threatened to kill him.

The student said he escaped by jumping out of the car but wasn't able to grab his bookbag, which contained the report card.
He ran to his grandparents' house and later confessed to lying. His grandfather called police to apologize.

Sgt. Mark Roberts said police were suspicious that the boy was able to "escape" with his band instrument, but not his bookbag.

Roberts said the boy faces no charges at this time."

Now if that was me, I would have received a thrashing and a lamb-basting from my father.

... I decide not to get old. Ever.

It's inevitable. We're all going to grow old, have trouble eating, and suffer from arthritis. Hardly something to celebrate, but it's the cycle of life.

And some of us will be more prepared than others. Some of us have a wad of moolah stashed away in bank accounts in exotic places like Switzerland and the Cayman Islands in preparation for retirement.

Well, while I was a working lad, I too put money into a little fund. Here in the You Ess of Ay, they call it a 401(k) (God only knows why), but in any event, I religiously put away wads of cash each month into a 401(k) that focused on stock market investments. So today I inquired about taking that money out and putting it to better use - like a new sofa perhaps! I mean seriously, I thought it was only going to be several hundred dollars after the government got its sticky fingers on it.

To my shock and awe and utter amazement, there was an extra zero on the amount I have sitting in a little retirement fund. And yes, while sticky fingers government man will swiftly snatch away 20%, I'll still be left with thousands of American dollars! Not tens of thousands, unfortunately, but enough to pay off my student load so I can go back to college in January 2010.

Or maybe a cruise around the world.

Or four years of intense therapy.

Or a trip back to deepest, darkest Africa to enjoy braais and jols with my family.

Or a car.

Or I could do the responsible thing and invest it.

Oh the options are endless.

... my horoscope dances around the issues

So in other words, procrastinate.

I don't have time to procrastinate with anything. Silly horror-scope!