... I decide not to get old. Ever.

It's inevitable. We're all going to grow old, have trouble eating, and suffer from arthritis. Hardly something to celebrate, but it's the cycle of life.

And some of us will be more prepared than others. Some of us have a wad of moolah stashed away in bank accounts in exotic places like Switzerland and the Cayman Islands in preparation for retirement.

Well, while I was a working lad, I too put money into a little fund. Here in the You Ess of Ay, they call it a 401(k) (God only knows why), but in any event, I religiously put away wads of cash each month into a 401(k) that focused on stock market investments. So today I inquired about taking that money out and putting it to better use - like a new sofa perhaps! I mean seriously, I thought it was only going to be several hundred dollars after the government got its sticky fingers on it.

To my shock and awe and utter amazement, there was an extra zero on the amount I have sitting in a little retirement fund. And yes, while sticky fingers government man will swiftly snatch away 20%, I'll still be left with thousands of American dollars! Not tens of thousands, unfortunately, but enough to pay off my student load so I can go back to college in January 2010.

Or maybe a cruise around the world.

Or four years of intense therapy.

Or a trip back to deepest, darkest Africa to enjoy braais and jols with my family.

Or a car.

Or I could do the responsible thing and invest it.

Oh the options are endless.