I find myself questioning my mortality

Not questioning it in the way in which I wonder if it will happen, for verily I know it shall, some day. But I question it in that as I age - as we all inevitably do - I start thinking about what I shall leave behind. Yes, there's my share of crap in the land fills, but I mean in terms of my legacy. I have no children. I have no son to pass on my family heritage and history to. Daughters are evil. They grow up, they marry, they switch names and that's that. I am my father's only son. My uncle (on my father's side) passed away a couple years ago. He, too, had no kids. So no pressure, but the family line ends with me.

Am I buckling under societal pressures to produce an heir?

I do not wish to marry. That stress would kill me. And I do not wish to attach the rest of my life to another person like that. Children are different. We create them and raise them and spank them. A spouse is disposal. Children are not.

I raised this prickly issue with my father - who, bless, is fairly old-fashioned in his general thinking. But realizing that I am pretty forward thinking, he makes an effort. We spoke about my maybe adopting a small human, to wish he said, "Son, you know as well as I do that you will not love it as much as you would your own child." He's right.

I think I need  drink.