I Struck It Rich

I received an email today. This email is undoubtedly going to change my life forever. See below:


Dear Sir/Madam

AN INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY.

I must say sorry for interfering into your privacy without seeking for permission. It's because of urgency of this matter. I'm Mr.Sami Walter, Director in charge of audit and account unit department, of Global Finance Security Company here in London United Kingdom. I have decided to contact you for a mutual beneficial transaction with 100% Risk Free. (lucky me)

In April 2006, Mr. Lu Yunpeng, a multimillionaire and president of Henan-based Yunpeng Cultural Development Co Ltd China moved some cash from a bank in France to our Finance Firm/Security Company. The fund arrived during the time Mr. Lu Yunpeng was tried for murder in China (that's horrific). As his account officer he instructed that I should put a hold on the fund that was supposed to go to China pending on the outcome of his trial.

In May 2006, he was sentenced to death and the fund remained unclaimed till date. As his account officer, I was aware that nobody knows about this fund movement except his cousin who was also sentenced to death with him.

Please, you can view the news on this website: http://en.ce.cn/National/Local/200605/18/t20060518_7005764.shtml

Ever since 2006 I have tried and moved the money in 2010 from our Global Finance Security Company to Alfy Europe Uk through forged documents because I have mandated some transfer for him to this firm severally
before his death.Now the fund is save and sound (really? save and sound?) in the Alfy Europe Uk also an agent of Mr LuYunpeng.

I want to utilize this opportunity and make use of this fund by transferring the money to your account through a friend of mine whom we are working together in Alfy Europe United Kingdom Mr Jonathan Drewe. He is fully aware
of what is going on and he will change all documents to your name as full beneficiary to this fund. I want to work with you on this. The amount involved is Twenty-Two Million Eight Hundred and Seventy Five Thousand Two
Hundred and Fifty United States Dollars Only. {US$22,875,250.00}.

Please reply back and lets benefit from this golden opportunity. You are my first contact. I shall wait for few days and if I do not hear from you, I shall look for another person. On acceptance to help me and all information
gotten from you then we will involve Mr Jonathan Drewe.

These are my private (...private what??)
E-mail:  { mr.samiwalter@yahoo.cn }

Best Regards

It Was My Birthday on Sunday

It was my birthday on Sunday just past. And as you can deduct from the late blog post, it was a non-event. 

Funny how as we get older, birthdays become quieter and less celebrated. Could that be because as we get older, our hearing starts to go as well? The jury’s out on that one. But either way, I had eight bazillion Facebook messages (most from people I have approved as ‘friends’ and yet still have no idea who they are), a few text messages (yes, people still do that), and two phone calls from South Africa – one from my dad and one from my sister.

There were no strippers, no streamers, no clubs. It left as quietly as it came.

No post in over a month?

That's right, I've been busy.


Too busy to send us an update? You know some people actually read this, don't you?


Yes, I know, and I apologize. I was in Vegas a couple weeks ago on business. I hadn't been back since I left that sand pit four years ago. I took this photo with my phone when we left.


That long?


Yes. I went for a trade show. Digital Signage Expo.


And what else?


I moved apartments, I now live in the south hills of Pittsburgh. Not too thrilled about that but at least it's close to work.


How close?


Across the street. You can't beat that.


No, you can't. Anyway, you need to be better about posting to your blog.


I will.

The sun's out. But it's still freakin' cold.

Sometimes we forget that things aren't always as they seem.


Today, I had to head downtown for a biometrics testing appointment with the fine folks at the USCIC (former INS). The sun was shining, downtown was bustling. And then I opened the glass door.


Sweet Jesus! It was about 32 degrees. Now for those of you smart folk who use the metric system, 32 degrees Fahrenheit is 0 degrees Celsius. 0 as in freezing. 


I guess the somewhat roundabout point I'm trying to make is that not everything is always as it seems. Much like that whole "Don't judge a book by its cover" thing.


Anyway, time for me to button up and head on home. Have yourselves a great weekend.

I find myself questioning my mortality

Not questioning it in the way in which I wonder if it will happen, for verily I know it shall, some day. But I question it in that as I age - as we all inevitably do - I start thinking about what I shall leave behind. Yes, there's my share of crap in the land fills, but I mean in terms of my legacy. I have no children. I have no son to pass on my family heritage and history to. Daughters are evil. They grow up, they marry, they switch names and that's that. I am my father's only son. My uncle (on my father's side) passed away a couple years ago. He, too, had no kids. So no pressure, but the family line ends with me.

Am I buckling under societal pressures to produce an heir?

I do not wish to marry. That stress would kill me. And I do not wish to attach the rest of my life to another person like that. Children are different. We create them and raise them and spank them. A spouse is disposal. Children are not.

I raised this prickly issue with my father - who, bless, is fairly old-fashioned in his general thinking. But realizing that I am pretty forward thinking, he makes an effort. We spoke about my maybe adopting a small human, to wish he said, "Son, you know as well as I do that you will not love it as much as you would your own child." He's right.

I think I need  drink.

My First Post For 2012

I can't contain my excitement. I'm overcome with joy and I might just cry.

OK, enough of that nonsense. So here we are, 2012. Another year, another round of resolutions bound to be broken. Not being a pessimist, just being realistic. Hell, I broke mine on January 1st. Am I upset? Hardly. It obviously wasn't meant to be.

But all that said, I've decided on some other things I can work on this year. Liek being more social. This is feasible - if I meet people I feel like being social with. I'm finding that whole west coast "fakeness" seems to be spreading to the east coast. And that makes me sad.

To the douche I met the other night: No, I do not think that the fact I speak three languages, have traveled the globe, lived abroad, and attended a hoity toity college makes me better than everyone else. YOU, sir, however, do seem to think that I think that. Truth is, if you continue to wallow in your own insecurities and shortcomings, you shall surely drown. And not even my well-spoken, well-traveled, well-educated hand can save you. Why do you feel threatened by my accomplishments? I have worked damned hard for them, and worked even harder to get where I am today. Why do you insist on being a grey cloud? Big deal, I've seen the world. It makes me appreciate what I have even more. I'm educated. That makes me want to explore out of my comfort zone and learn and experience new things. Why does this threaten you? I remain perplexed.

Either way, douche bags aside, this year I am quite ambitious in what I want to achieve. I love my job and hope to get even better at it. I work with several talented, passionate, driven folks and that makes all the difference. I want to go back to South Africa in March for my sister's and father's birthdays. March marks a 7-year absence from the Dark Continent. And so much has happened. AIDS and famine still prevail, but my sister has married, given birth to two little humans, bought a house, and had a white picket fence erected. My father has continued his on-again-off-again dalience with the woman he cheated on my mother with. Whatever, as long as he's happy. My other sister graduated high school, and celebrated her 21st. My younger brother dropped out of high school, and also celebrated his 21st. My mother still refuses to work and believes a man should look after her. Perhaps 2012 will be the year she learns to use a computer. Perhaps not.

Later in the year, I'd like to go somewhere I have never been before. Like maybe Iceland. Or Peru. Somewhere cheap and off the beaten track. And yes, I know Iceland is not cheap, but airfare deals can be found.

I want to listen more, and talk less. I want to tone down my cynicism because everyone has something important to offer (as I start to foam at the mouth). I want to give more, maybe get involved in a volunteer venture.

This year I want to get a car. I need to be mobile.

Like I said, 2012 is going to be the year I take myself out of my comfort zone, do more with less. Let's see if any of it comes to fruition.

After a 2-month hiatus...

"So, REJ, You've been kinda busy huh?"

Yup, you could say that.

"Is that why you have a picture of a roller coaster posted here?"

Yes. It's called a metaphor.

"A little 'first thought', don't you think? A roller coaster? Seriously?"

I didn't ask for your opinion.

"Well I offered it anyway."

I noticed.

"So tell your hungry readers what you've been doing during your hiatus."

I got a new job with a cool little tech company. I got sued and charged with 'Disorderly Conduct'. I was going to head home for Christmas but now it looks like I'm not. And my cat got fleas.

"Fleas? Wow, that sucks. Wait, sued and charged? YOU?"

Yes, I don't want to talk about it.

"And that's your right. Ah, ok, now I see the roller coaster metaphor for your life thing."

You're a smart one, voice in my head. Keep it up.